{"id":4093,"date":"2010-05-21T10:25:06","date_gmt":"2010-05-21T08:25:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/?p=4093"},"modified":"2010-05-21T10:25:06","modified_gmt":"2010-05-21T08:25:06","slug":"photographic-negatives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/?p=4093","title":{"rendered":"Photographic Negatives"},"content":{"rendered":"

Argh! What was<\/em> he thinking? How could Simon possibly imagine that I would be happy with him plonking a picture of me (albeit with Big Cat as the purported subject) bang, smack at the top of the home page, in the Latest Photos. I think a Little Word may be in order.<\/p>\n

And while we’re at it, let me share with you the surreal conversation we had yesterday evening, prior to going round to Mike and Sue’s for a delicious dinner.<\/p>\n

Me<\/em>: (surveying my limited wardrobe, and realising that everything I usually wear is either covered in cat hair or plastered with mud) Hmmm….what shall I wear? Simon? Simon?
\nSimon<\/em>: (eventually dragging his attention away from his computer to look at me) Uh?
\nMe<\/em>: I was wondering what to wear. Have you got any ideas? Is there anything you’d like to see me wearing.
\nSimon<\/em>: (with an expression not unlike that of a rabbit caught in the headlights of a rapidly approaching juggernaut) Um……
\nMe<\/em>: Oh, come on. There must be something<\/em> you like.
\nSimon: Um…..what about that blue top?
\nMe<\/em>: Blue top?
\nSimon<\/em>: Yeh…the one I’ve seen you wearing recently.
\nMe<\/em>: Blue top? I haven’t got a blue top. Do you mean grey?
\nSimon<\/em>: No, definitely blue.
\nMe<\/em>: (baffled) Well, what sort<\/em> of top is it? Long sleeves? Short sleeves? Do you mean this? (holding up a vaguely bluish-grey sweatshirt).
\nSimon<\/em>: (shrugging). I don’t know. It’s blue. It’s got writing on it.
\nMe<\/em>: (even more baffled) I haven’t got a blue top with writing on it. Are you thinking of someone else?
\nSimon<\/em>: No, I’ve seen you in it recently. It’s nice. It’s blue. With writing on it.
\nMe<\/em>: (struggling to get my head round this) The only top I can think of with writing on is this one (holding up a grey long-sleeved T-shirt with one black word on the front).
\nSimon<\/em>: No – that’s not blue is it? That’s grey<\/em>. Not that one.
\nMe<\/em>: Well, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
\nSimon<\/em>: (turning back to his computer, where he is opening a photo gallery that seems to be all pictures of me, taken over the last ten years – which is just a little bit creepy) But I’ve seen you in it, recently.<\/p>\n

At this point I give up, and grab the first clean, half-decent top I can find in my drawer. It is creamy-coloured with blue writing on it. Near enough, I think. Simon calls to me from where he is clicking through the million and one photos he has taken of me over the years, usually contrary to my explicit instructions. <\/p>\n

Simon<\/em>: See… you have lots of blue tops… there’s one…. there’s another one.
\nMe<\/em>: But that was ten years ago. And they are flimsy little vest tops. I only wear things like that when it’s really hot.
\nSimon<\/em>: (triumphant) There! That’s the one I meant. Blue. With writing on it. (He is pointing to a picture taken over a year ago, in which I am wearing a very thin, sleeveless vest top.
\nMe<\/em>: I haven’t worn that for ages. And anyway, it’s nowhere near warm enough to wear that now.
\nSimon<\/em>: No, I guess you’ll be wanting a jumper like me. I’m just saying… I was right.
\nMe<\/em>: Hmmm. More than a year ago is hardly recent, is it? Come on. We should be going.<\/p>\n

The only explanation I can come up with for Simon’s assertion that he has seen me wearing that top recently is that he loves me so<\/em> much he looks at photos of me whenever I am not in the room. I am a very lucky girl.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Argh! What was he thinking? How could Simon possibly imagine that I would be happy with him plonking a picture of me (albeit with Big Cat as the purported subject) bang, smack at the top of the home page, in … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pnnDj-141","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4093"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4093\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.llamadharma.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}