It’s a Man Thing

Today I got an email from my Wise Friend which, in passing, drew my attention to the fact that we have not blogged in a while. With shame and self-castigation I realise that it is eleven days since my last post. Eleven days! That sounds like the name of a book. Or the world record for the number of days without sleep. Or the number of minutes than I can last without giving in to my disturbing addiction for googling things. It is also the number of days since the weather changed and our ice-induced idleness melted away in the warm face of all those Things That Need To Be Done.

Luckily for me, the most pressing of the Things To Be Done are what are known hereabouts as Man Type Jobs. That of course does not mean that I get to sit around doing Nothing in a mere-womanly way. It means that while Simon gets on with his Very Important Man Type Jobs, I get to do more than my usual share of everything else animal-related, plus all the Woman Type Jobs that, as we all know, take time and effort on a regular basis, but generally go unnoticed by fifty percent of the population. (I’m not moaning. I’m just saying…..) Oh, and plus… I get to take photos of Simon being manly (whilst simultaneously giving me hardly-at-all-patronising advice about how to use the camera and take photos that aren’t blurry, and in which the horizon doesn’t lurch at strange angles that mess with your head).

So over the last eleven busy, blog-free days, as well as numerous smallish catching-up jobs, two Big Things have been ticked off the unwritten, never-ending list of Things To be Done. Simon has erected a whole new stretch of Very Secure fencing to divide our biggest llama field, in preparation for the Great Resettlement that needs to happen before he collects our soon-to-be second stud llama from Provence

(which is of course a tale for another time). And he has dug a Very Long trench from the bottom to the top of our smaller field, into which he has inserted a Very Long pipe, to drain away the water from a higher, neighbouring field which, over many winters, has been doing its best to create a passable imitation of the Everglades on our land. (Damn – there goes my plan for the Alligator Petting Zoo.)





And in the spare minutes between the accomplishment of these Manly Tasks, using only a chain saw, a comely pair of ear defenders, and a flourescent action-man jacket, Simon has magically created a big pile of free firewood from the assorted junk that fills our remaining dilapidated outbuildings that are not yet occupied by animals or tractors (because they have been full of junk). It warms the cockles of my reuse-reduce-recycle heart to see the trusty high-spec, high-vis biker gear being put to a good, alternative, old-man-without-a-motorbike use. I’m sure that when he shuts his eyes, the irritating whine of the chainsaw transforms into the alluringly nostalgic ring-ding-ding of a two-stroke off-road bike (play this link, shut your eyes and think ‘chain saw’).

Argh! Now I’m worried that Simon shuts his eyes whilst wielding the chain saw. Which would, of course, be very Man Type Thing to do.